Saying good-bye to Gabbee Rae

licking mommy's nose

She came into my life on November 11, 2000 (ironically what was to be my wedding date). I found out March 10th, 2001 that she had Feline Leukemia - a fatal disease. And on June 7th, 2002, she left me forever.

The decision was made to put her down on June 7th since it will be easier on my heart as Chanele and I were going out of town basically 5 days in a row. This way, we could take her, then leave town and I won't have to deal with being home without her. I won't be missing the sounds of her tags jingling together to let me know she's nearby. Or our little "conversations" when she starts meowing and I meow right back to her until she is satisfied. Or the way she jumps onto my CPU then slithers up onto my lap and sleeps with her head resting in the crook of my elbow. Or the way she loves to dig into my overalls and sit inside the flap. Or the way she keeps me up at nite cuz she purrs as loud as can be to make sure I know she's around. Or how she wraps her body around my skull and meow's at me if I dare to move my head. Or how she will chase a string for hours and never get bored. Or how she loves to steal straws from glasses, and drink vodka, and eat cheesypoofs. Or how she will be sitting still and all of a sudden lunge at her tail and bite it.


trying to sleep on my arm
smile pretty for the camera!

She might be a holy terror sometimes, but her adorable, loveable streak vastly outweighs the evil in her. Sure, I was ready to kill her when she ruined my down comforter and has kept me up for hours and hours with her loud screaming. Before I got her fixed, she would howl at all hours of the day and nite - mostly outside of Chanele's door keeping her awake. It wasn't her fault that I didn't understand her language. I mean she isn't like a baby where a cry means one of a few things. With her tho, most of the time it was just "I want attention".

hiding in my overalls

Her favorite spots lately are the rugs in my and Chanele's bathroom and sleeping on the kitchen counter. It'll be so weird to walk into the bathroom now and not have to kick her out. Or to not have her try to beat the door down to come in and sit on the rug with me. (I never claimed she was a normal kitty). And right after the toilet is flushed, she likes to watch the water go down. And she has started sitting on the edge of the tub. I've seen her hiding in there a few times behind the curtain. She loves to scrunch herself up in a little ball and sit perfectly still until her target (usually my feet) walks by then she darts out and either pounces or tries to trip us.

i had to crop it, but she was playing with her tail

Chanele and I packed up our bags for our weekend trip to Daytona and took them out to the car. She left me alone inside with Gabbee to say goodbye to her. I picked her up and she didn’t start purring like she normally does. She just looked at me with her big green and yellow eyes and remained perfectly still in my arms. I started crying and repeating over and over again how sorry I was. I was crying pretty bad but knew I had to do this. I put her in her carrier and she didn’t try to escape like she normally does. I put her in the backseat with the front kinda between the 2 front seats so I could pet her and rub her face. I’m not sure which of us I was trying to comfort here.

Extreme Close-up!

We stopped at Walmart and Frankie ran in to get a few things and I really lost it. I had my head pressed right up against the gate of the carrier and I was sobbing. Gabbee kept rubbing the top of her head against my face thru the door and stuck her paws out thru the door as a half-hearted attempt to get out. But everytime I tried to pet her paw, she would retract it. Normally she would let me pet her and she’d paw at my fingers. I was still repeating how sorry I was for having to do this to her. I was bawling pretty good at this point.. those horrid racking sobs. I felt like my heart was breaking. As I was sitting there bawling our other roommate called me to ask who cleaned out the fridge and tossed her watermelon. If I hadn’t been otherwise occupied, I would have yelled at her for even calling me then over something so stupid and trivial, thus upsetting me farther.

she's was purring like mad, enjoying her perch in my overalls

The closer we got to the Humane Society, the worse it got. Chanele came in with me to leave her and the girl working at Receiving asked how she could help us. I was crying so much, everything I said was coming out in whispers – my voice was just not wanting to work. I had to sign away my rights to my kitty then she was taken away from me. I barely got her collar back cuz the girl took her out of the carrier and put her right into those big cages. There were tons of baby kittens in there as well, I assume for the same thing. After everything was signed, I grabbed the carrier and ran out of there – well I would have had the door been easier to open..

she was trying to hard to grab the flashy lights of the camera
this is her "pissed off" look

After we played in the waves for a bit, we went back to the hotel and showered and changed for dinner at Chanele’s parent’s place so we just hung around the (ghetto) hotel and drove around Daytona. I called my mom when we were still at the hotel. I hadn’t told my parents I was putting Gabbee down. Bern knew cuz I had told him Thursday nite on AIM. My mom asked if I had taken her to the vet for boarding before leaving for the beach and I told her. She got all quiet and gave me the standard “it’s better this way. She was sick. She lasted longer then expected.” Then she started talking about Luc and Leigha (Kayla’s puppies) – I think they’re going to keep at least one of them for me which makes me happy.

her entire body was balanced on my armrest

I only ended up getting a few hours of sleep. Everytime I would close my eyes I would see Gabbee's eyes staring up at me. Try getting some sleep with that happening constantly.. Saturday (the day after), I was making some lunch and dropped a piece of chicken on the floor. A few times I caught myself about to call out for Gabbee or to ask why I don’t hear her tags jingling. The first night is going to be really hard cuz I’m so used to sleeping with my door cracked open for her to come in. She almost always ends up on my bed or sleeping on the window sill crammed between my bed and the glass. The sill was just wide enough for her to sit on, and she loved lying on her back on it and batting at the blinds and drapes. I always kept like a 6” gap from the sill to the blinds for her to squeeze into. For some reason she loved being squished when she was sleeping. The last few days she would crawl under the blanket with me and sleep on my chest till I fell asleep.

she was chewing on her "seat" - my overalls


The above photo's were taken June 5th in order for this tribute to be put together.
Gabbee will always be a part of me, only as a memory and a slew of photo's rather then as a physical being.


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